I have been writing this for close to a month, I must say this is the very first time in my writing and blogging life that I will be so short of words. How do I express how I felt last year when you three were born? One full year like everything happened just last night?! I can vividly remember every singular detail of everyone in the delivery room when you three were born and I have great memories of everything that transpired as one child after another was brought out of my dear belly. Life oh life. After waiting for what seemed like forever, I was a mother to not one, not two but to three healthy, wonderful children. Still can’t get over that. And you three are already celebrating your first birthday. Meaning we have spent 365 beautiful days together! BIG WOW!
This time last year, I was a bundle of confusion, wanting to breastfeed and pump milk for all of you, making sure you all had the right nutrients as all three of you laid in your incubators, feeding through a tube. I didn’t know what to make of each day, each moment. I learned to read medical data with the nurses and there was plenty of it and I learned about the growth and development of babies especially premature ones. I learned to watch out for the almighty Brady arrest and I learned to study new lives as they get used to life on the outside, to the real world. No matter how prepared one is for this, you become a neophyte once reality stirs you in the face. After a few weeks, we were on our way home and the fullness of what life had become became more glaring.
You three complete me; you made me a woman, took all the shame, my cries, my frustrations away and made me one complete woman, a complete person. My fervent prayers were answered in one fell swoop. I cannot even begin to describe how much joy you all are to me; you make me laugh, cry, shout at the same time. You are my conscience, my gravity, my reason for being, my life project, my life. Life is better because of you, life is fun, wholesome because of you three, everything is complete because you lot are here, learning and thriving by the day. This may sound cliché, but I never realized how much I could love another human being like I love all you lot. I would give my life for any of you. During my turbulent days, in the midst of all my chaos like I am having presently, I come back home and everything is OKAY. You three probably do not know you have that calming effect on me, I look into your eyes and yes, everything will be O-K-A-Y after all.
Because of you, I continue to experience the greatest love I’ve ever known and in three folds. I am one lucky woman. You have taught me patience in different measures and the meaning of true unconditional love. You have taught me not to sweat the small stuff and you’ve taught me to appreciate life in ways that I previously wouldn’t. There is no hurdle I wouldn’t jump, no bridge I wouldn’t cross, no ocean I wouldn’t swim for you lot. I will move the world for any of you. I mean every single word right here.
Today, I see you are all getting up trying to walk, say your first words, smile, get excited, dance and generally develop your unique personalities and I still pinch myself that you are indeed all mine. People ask me all the time how I cope with you, there are indeed challenges, but I must say these are beautiful, blissful ones. I wouldn’t change these for anything in the world. Anything.
We are going to spend many more glorious years together by God’s grace and I can only imagine how much fun we will be having and all the wonderful memories we will be making as a family. I can’t wait to teach you all I know; writing, reading, cooking, I just learned photography to keep shooting you a lot and I would love to teach you all too. We will indeed make lovely memories together.
You three will grow up to be model citizens of the world, you will be blessings to generations and the world will be a better place because you lot are a significant, relevant part of it. You will grow up into beautiful people and I pray you all to experience the immense joy you brought into my life. Please grow to make your own dreams come true, to achieve the things you want to, and to continue to make me so proud of the beautiful person you all are.
I love you Zayn Zahra and Zayd. I really really do.
Thank you for bringing me such pure happiness, joy, peace, and contentment.
Love, Peace and More milk…
Mama Keem Xx